Feb 13, 2018
Called “The Love Counselor”, Bill Ferguson is transforming relationships around the world. A former divorce attorney, Bill discovered the secret to healing painful relationships. 15% of Bill’s clients never divorced and the ones who did were able to part as friends. The producers of Oprah were so moved by his work that they featured him on one of their shows.
His book, How To Heal A Painful Relationship, became a bestseller and Bill has been a keynote speaker at The Texas Counseling Association annual convention, addressing over 2300 counselors and therapists. He has also been recommended by both The Wall Street Journal and The Washington Post.
In last week's episode, I asked Bill to share the key to all upset, the cycle of conflict, what creates loving relationships, and the #1 killer of all relationships.
Today, I invite Bill to explain how to heal the deeper hurts that mess up our lives. We explore the Law Of Resistance, the difference between an upset and a fear, how the deeper hurt gets created, and the step by step process for healing that deeper hurt.
We’ve all experienced hurt, but that doesn’t mean we need to suffer. Tune in now and learn how to get your power back so you can create the life and relationships you truly want!
1) The Law of Resistance – whatever you resist is going to magnify and gain power. We never resist the circumstances; we resist all the feelings and emotions that get triggered by the circumstances. Our lives then become about running from our feelings and emotions.
2) Every area that doesn’t work in our lives can be traced to a childhood hurt. Life is putting it into our face so we can heal it.
3) We are born pure love but we’re born into a world that kills it – a world that is judgmental and critical. As a child, we experience a loss of love and we blame ourselves. In that moment, we create our identity. “I’m not good enough. I’m a failure. I’m not worthy.” Then the rest of our life we fight it, and in resisting it, we become the very thing we resisted.
4) When someone says “I know I’m not that,” that’s an indication of their deeper hurt.
5) There’s nothing you can do to get rid of “worthless” but what you can do is take away its relevance and in doing so remove its power.
6) When you heal your deeper hurts, you become driven by your passion rather than your fear – which produces a very different result.
7) We live in a world that focuses on what’s happening on the outside, which are really just the symptoms. So we spend our life trying to change the symptoms. However, when you focus on the inside, that’s how you change the outside. The inside is the realm of love, joy, peace, happiness and miracles. The outside is the realm of fear, upset and suffering. Transformation is making the shift from the outside to the inside. Then it’s about how you relate to others and the world around you. Shifting from you OR me, to the place of you AND me.
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